Bar None.

It is fitting I ended up at the Bar None early Sunday afternoon. I say this because I woke up at 8 that morning to attend the largest party, bar none. I also drank more alcohol before noon than I ever have, bar none.


I was one of the reveler's walking around drunk at 10 in the morning and pissing on your doorstep. Such is the case every year at Bay To Breakers. Wake up at 8, start drinking at 9, and drunk by 10. What happens after that is between me and whoever's garage door I peed on. This year we were blessed with perfect weather, which was good because I had hardly any clothes on.

At some point during the day we left the mass of drunk people and decided to head to the North Beach area of San Francisco, and we ended up at a basement bar called Bar None. Had I not been so drunk I would have realized what a "frat boy" type bar this is (hence the north beach local). But I was drunk and really didn't care, plus when I walked in people were playing this:

Beer Pong at a bar...yes

They had me at hello. We did not play beer pong, but we did throw some darts. I was smashed enough that darts came easily, and I pretty much played the greatest game of darts of my entire life (now I know how the pros do it!). Details of this bar are fuzzy, but pictures are worth a thousand words right? Right.

What I found backed up the whole frat boy charm of this place. The only place you see horse trough style urinals (HTSU) are at sporting venues. Because when a million men need to lose a half million gallons of fluid, they prefer the HTSU (apparently?). Nothing is more impersonal and awkward than standing shoulder to shoulder with your fellow man to relieve yourself. While trying not to look (but also trying to get it going), you get to contemplate things like football and women, you know, manly things! Or if your like me you wonder why the hell the floor is so wet!?

You also get to contimplate how awesome your shoes are.